Growing Older

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I’ve been writing poetry a bit here and there for the fist time since I became a mother (10 years ago).  I find it really difficult to hear my inner voice over the chaos of parenting 3 rowdy little people.  But I LOVE poetry.  I think of it as the songs of the soul.  I identify a really great song when I find one that is rich poetry set to music.

I don’t watch a lot of TV or movies, but the other day I had this sort of “craving” for The Notebook.  As I was watching I was thinking of what its like to age.  What is it like to be at the end of your life?  This is something I’ve pondered as long as I can remember, with much anxiety.  I really have quite a great fear of aging.  As I was watching the movie I was thinking what a great story these two people had at the end of their life.  When I look back on my own I want to tell the story of a woman who really LIVED.  A woman who was in constant metamorphosis.  A woman who loved intensely.  Who wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable.  Who sought and spoke truth.  I want to have been a woman who is authentic, who stood for something, who did small things with greatness.  I want to have been true to myself.  Here is the poetic expression of my ponderings…

The End

The end sneaks up on you.

Slippery days gray

And filled with obligations

Distractions turning cheeks

To things youth

Cannot often see.

Sipping, slipping

Away

All in a jumble

Of mediocrity.

All the “should” dos

Adding up to a life.

And then there’s the end.

The miniscule window of time

We are actually able to see through.

Only now it’s too late.

We’ve spent our allowance of days.

When I look back,

I hope to not feel pangs of regret so unbearable

they will bring me out of this world.

I hope to see

A life lived

Which in the end mirrors my soul

Entwined with the reflection of God.

And the joy of that picture will carry me away

To Him.

And he will hold me.

And I will know,

In a way I’ve never known,

That I have accomplished

A most beautifully flawed work

Of perfection,

For His purpose.

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