Every pregnancy is a transformation, and every birth the completion of that transformation. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Nearing the end of my pregnancy, I can distinctly feel that I am in the depths of a metamorphosis, I am experiencing the acceleration of it in the deepest parts of myself. I can feel it in my child. I can feel him completing his physical and emotional development as he becomes ready to transition from the spiritual to the physical world. We are two souls linked as one and working together, depending on one another to complete this process. Toward the end of my pregnancies I become a bit of a hermit. Not only within my home, but within myself. I become very quiet and protective of myself, my children, and my space. I don’t want any outside distractions, I am too focused on what is going on inside me. Much like labor. This is the place I am in right now. One blogger refers to it as The Time of Zwischen, or the time of “between”. I love her post and totally agree, this phase needs to be given a name! This phase needs to be respected and each woman given the space necessary to surrender to it. It isn’t just about waiting for birth, just as birth isn’t just about pushing a baby out. It is supernal. When a woman feels like she might go crazy as she nears the end of pregnancy, it isn’t just because her feet are swollen and she’s heavy and tired and the anxiety of the unknown is driving her mad… it is also because she is literally stuck between worlds. She is becoming a mother. It doesn’t matter if this is her first baby or her tenth, she has never been a mother to THIS child. Every spirit’s journey into being is unique and every mother must carry her child through this journey. It is never something that can be fully prepared for. It doesn’t get easier or less awe inspiring because she has done it before. Truthfully, she hasn’t done it before. It is always a completely separate experience from any other, as unique as the child within her.
And then comes birth. The grand finale of the journey. This is the time when a woman’s power over takes her, giving her no choice but to move into the depths of herself. She must travel so deep inside, she steps a foot into the spirit realm. During this time she is completely inwardly focused. She is not aware of much that is going on around her. She has a foot in both worlds, doing the physical work in one, and the spiritual work in another. She must step into the spiritual world to carry her child through. She must let go and surrender enough to travel the distance. If she resists, becomes fearful or is distracted or threatened, progress will often stall. If she is in a hospital and this happens the journey is now in danger of being forced or bypassed by impatient hands. In which case the integration that follows is often choppy and possibly incomplete. And so, ideally, she will be reverenced during this time. She will be supported in the physical world. She will be understood. She will be trusted. She is wise and brave and only she knows exactly how to carry her child through the veil. So she steps across and does what is necessary. At this point, reality becomes real in a way that she has likely never experienced. She may momentarily doubt herself or become fearful. The intensity is overwhelming. She is nearing completion, but is so involved in her great work that she is not aware of how close she is to completing it. She cannot step away and admire her progress, she can only surrender and allow the forces of creation to move her child through her body. I, personally, believe that this is the time when the spirit is being sewn into the physical body of the baby. Up until now, the mother has likely been able to feel the baby’s presence, but sometimes nearer than others. The spirit has been coming and going, preparing for mortal life. But now the spirit is being cemented within the new body by the pressure of birth. This process will be compete with the first breath, the breath of life. The mother’s body is as open as it can be, and she is spiritually as open as she can be while still residing in her body. The baby is passing the threshold. The intensity is unrelenting. She is stretched and open beyond description. The final pushes are powerful, overwhelming, and exhilarating. First the head. She breathes. Then the shoulders. Next a slippery, bumpy body expels from her own and the pain and the intensity instantaneously become the greatest relief she has ever felt. Any number of feelings are possible right now, but relief and awe are dominant. She can’t believe she did it. She can’t believe it is complete! She and her baby make eye contact. They speak to each other spirit to spirit, telling each other about the journey they have just been through. Only they can completely understand. The following moments, days, and weeks are a journey all of their own. A journey of integration. The birth will play over and over and over again in the mother’s memory. No doubt, the baby will do the same. They are processing what they have been through. Both will cry many tears as they release emotions and communicate the hardships of their journey. They will continue the journey together. In many ways, they are still one. They are only beginning to get to know each other as separate beings in the world. This process will take approximately 5 years to complete, during which time they will remain attached to each other, holding tight to the bond they formed through the journey of creation.
My message, really, is to tell other mother’s out there to embrace whatever it is that they are experiencing. Don’t become too impatient. Don’t rely on Dr. prescribed dates to tell you when your pregnancy journey will complete itself. There is an exact moment in time that this soul is meant to enter the world, put yourself aside and honor that. This process is your greatest sacrifice. No good can come from rushing. In the grand scheme of things, it is only a fraction of a moment in time. Be patient. If you have feelings of wanting to push the world away and go inside yourself, by all means do. The world can wait. It will still be there when you are through. You are becoming a mother, and there is no work more important. Just stand back and witness the natural progression, let it happen as it is meant to. You and your baby know exactly how and when to make the transition. Connect with your baby and have faith in the two of you.